RETRO REVIEW-Big Mouth-Quite Not Right


I am a sucker for record shows. In the past couple of years I have gotten back into vinyl and those shows are the best. Especially when there are dealers that have dollar stuff. It allows you to take a chance on something you’ve never heard before just off the band name or cover. This is how I came across Quite Not Right by Big Mouth. Seeing a bunch of long hairs in spandex usually means “here’s my dollar”. The clincher was on the back cover I could see that one of the guitar players was Chris Caffery who would later join Savatage. How could I go wrong?
Actually the back cover should have been a big warning. The other guitar player, Johnny “Jinxx” Millan, is wearing a hat that I think he stole from Queen Latifah. Alas, that was not the only warning sign. Because if you look underneath Mr. Millan and his “hat” you see he is referred to as Kevin Hupp-Drums even though he is clearly holding a pink guitar. So is the guy referred to as Johnny Millan the real drummer? The final “I know it was only $1 buy maybe I should have passed” was the singer. He was clearly decked out in the appropriate rock attire but his short hair cut made him look like he thought he was the bad guy in a John Hughes movie. Also his name is B.S..
Seriously. B.S.
Typos aside, what really counts is when you put the needle to down, The Sunset Strip looking band on the back are cranking out some LA. Sound rock but B.S is dropping some mid-80’s whiteboy rap.
Yes, rap. Bad white guys rapping in the 80’s. Not Anthrax “I’m The Man” rap but Tom Hanks Dragnet rap. It is awful. It sounds like it was crafted for some bad T&A teen movie. Besides the rapping over hard rock riffs, the lyrics are dreadful. Really immature stuff. The first song is about needing an I.D to get into a club. “Food Fight” is about, well you can guess. So bad, B.S is rapping about how your pizza can be used as a Frisbee. The only thing worse is “X-Mas Rap”about Santa and Christmas and Big Mouth and at the end of the song you pray there is a War on Xmas.

However, the crème de la crème is their cover of BTO’s “Takin’ Care Of Business”. Just atrocious. Shocked it wasn’t in a Jim Belushi movie. It is so bad you would understand if Canada would have declared war on the USA for the insult.

There is that saying about never judging a book by it’s cover. However when you look at Big Mouth and see the mistakes on the back, you could have and rightfully should have been wary. At the end of the day it was only a $1.

Final rating, I’d be happy paying…
$14.99-Regularly Priced CD
$9.99-Download from iTunes or Amazon purchase
$5.00-wait for Amazon to have it on a MP3 sale
$1.00-finding at a flea market, car wash, or pawn shop
$0-Not worth the drive space

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